


relight the candle

by pocketpauling



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom
Genre: M/M, but they have full lives!!!, had some sad thoughts, short tommy somethin idk, sorry gordon and joshua do eventually die sorry to tell u this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:21:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25558777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pocketpauling/pseuds/pocketpauling
Summary: there’s a point, after you lose someone, that you need to accept that you’ll never see them again. some people get to it sooner, and some may never fully make it to that point, but most will, at least, try.tommy knew about this. he’s known about and accepted the fact that he’ll long outlive nearly every person he’ll ever meet. it’s been an important factor in every relationship he’s ever had, and it’s been the biggest factor in his refusal to love anyone outright.
Relationships: Gordon/Tommy (HLVRAI)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 95





	relight the candle

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sunlightlover](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunlightlover/gifts).



there’s a point, after you lose someone, that you need to accept that you’ll never see them again. some people get to it sooner, and some may never fully make it to that point, but most will, at least, try.

tommy knew about this. he’s known about and accepted the fact that he’ll long outlive nearly every person he’ll ever meet. it’s been an important factor in every relationship he’s ever had, and it’s been the _biggest_ factor in his refusal to love anyone outright.

gordon changed that. gordon changed it so suddenly that tommy had no choice. no choice but to love him.

he was a candle that burned despite everything trying to put him out. he clung to life so forcefully, life simply sighed and allowed him to stay on. for the sake of his kid, tommy had learned. and, soon after losing his arm, it was for the sake of tommy, too.

it wasn’t so much a confession as it was a morphine-fueled lapse in judgement, where gordon had pulled tommy against him, kissed him like he was going to die if he didn’t. different kind of drug. it took some talking, afterwards, but gordon had been so relieved to find that tommy didn’t hate him. the opposite, really. never thought about it _that_ much, before, but he wanted more of whatever gordon was willing to give him.

after the chuck e. cheese party, that turned out to be a lot. gordon gave tommy a place to stay, his best kermit the frog impressions, his favorite banana pancakes recipe, the other side of his bed. gave him his promises, and, eventually, a ring. gordon would give tommy the entire universe, if he could.

tommy had the universe already. he just wanted gordon.

it was so short, the time the two of them could spend together. watching joshua grow up, playing with sunkist in the backyard. watching sunsets, and sunrises, and leaves changing color. watching them fall, year after year.

tommy aged, too, but it was mostly for gordon’s sake. he didn’t know how to tell him he’d never die. not for countless millennia, at least. there’s no way to have that conversation.

so tommy promised gordon, again, and again, and again. promised him he won’t forget him, when he goes. tommy doesn’t break promises.

he kept that promise. when the time came, when gordon was in the hospital, struggling to keep his eyes open, he kept it. even when all he wanted was to disappear into the ether too, he kept it. kept it with him, like a prayer, when gordon stopped breathing for the last time.

kept it long after joshua passed, too, and long after he'd left earth behind. found it too hard to stay. kept it for hundreds of years, thousands. kept it as he worked, tirelessly, for the same employers as his father.

they didn’t pay in money. the hours were _long_ , the decisions _difficult_. watching terrible things happen, playing a part in them, it was the kind of thing tommy would never have been able to stomach, before. but time desensitizes us all, eventually. and he racks up his favors.

sometime in the future, tommy’s lost track, but he’s asking for that favor, now. more than a nudge. he wants something, wants something back. needs it, more than anything.

his employers tell him he has the entire universe.

tommy tells them he _had_ the universe already. he just wants it back.

deliberation, long, drawn out - contracts, signatures, promises. things he knows he can’t break, small print he’s almost too desperate to read properly. his father has to assist, to make sure he was getting the best end of the deal. in the end, he got what he wanted.

it wasn’t so much a reunion as it was a - well, it _was_ a reunion, actually, where tommy had pulled gordon against him, kissed him like he was going to disappear if he didn’t.

tommy promised, a long time ago, that he’d give gordon everything he had. tommy doesn’t break promises.


End file.
